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is that alright
[It'd been on the back of his mind ever since they agreed that their next step was to return to Earth in order to replace the Castle of Lions, like a ghost silently following him around whenever there isn't something immediately life threatening to hold his attention. For so long he's insisted that there was nothing to go back home to, That by the end of it all he made everyone turn their backs on him and that this was all for the best. It's the only narrative that makes him stop looking at the past and look towards the present and future, and it had served him so well for as long as it lasted.
The return to Earth refuses to be simple though, and barely even before the dust of their destroyed planet had even settled, there'd only been one person in his mind: Griffin. Was he okay? Did he survive this? And then only few minutes later that Garrison car had shown up to pick them up from the ruins of Platt City and that achingly familiar voice had momentarily rendered Keith speechless.
That was just several hours ago, but somehow it feels like a lifetime has passed already between the endless reunions, briefings, status reports and navigating around an entire military's chain of command where it'd only been the paladins before. He doesn't know what to expect from Griffin anymore, but he knows without a doubt that he deserves every single cold look, and grimaces his way through the guy's criticism of his team, somehow knowing it's not even about Hunk, it's him. Griffin wants to yell at him and that's.......
Maybe that's egotistical. Maybe the guy's doing far less thinking about Keith than Keith is doing about him.... and maybe he hopes that's true for Griffin's sake. It's that thought that keeps him from seeking Griffin out on his own. As much as he wants to apologize, he knows not everyone gets to and that not everyone wants one.
Then again that might also just be cowardice in the guise of empathy; Keith doesn't know. But he does know that when Griffin and Veronica turn up unexpectedly at the hangar to help him and Hunk, he's inexplicably, selfishly relieved. They return to the Garrison base without Hunk's parents, but there's a greater sense of resolve in the air. Hunk's going to save his family, they're going to liberate Earth and--]
...James.
[He reaches out grabbing the other boy's arm, heart thudding in his chest.]
Can we talk?
The return to Earth refuses to be simple though, and barely even before the dust of their destroyed planet had even settled, there'd only been one person in his mind: Griffin. Was he okay? Did he survive this? And then only few minutes later that Garrison car had shown up to pick them up from the ruins of Platt City and that achingly familiar voice had momentarily rendered Keith speechless.
That was just several hours ago, but somehow it feels like a lifetime has passed already between the endless reunions, briefings, status reports and navigating around an entire military's chain of command where it'd only been the paladins before. He doesn't know what to expect from Griffin anymore, but he knows without a doubt that he deserves every single cold look, and grimaces his way through the guy's criticism of his team, somehow knowing it's not even about Hunk, it's him. Griffin wants to yell at him and that's.......
Maybe that's egotistical. Maybe the guy's doing far less thinking about Keith than Keith is doing about him.... and maybe he hopes that's true for Griffin's sake. It's that thought that keeps him from seeking Griffin out on his own. As much as he wants to apologize, he knows not everyone gets to and that not everyone wants one.
Then again that might also just be cowardice in the guise of empathy; Keith doesn't know. But he does know that when Griffin and Veronica turn up unexpectedly at the hangar to help him and Hunk, he's inexplicably, selfishly relieved. They return to the Garrison base without Hunk's parents, but there's a greater sense of resolve in the air. Hunk's going to save his family, they're going to liberate Earth and--]
...James.
[He reaches out grabbing the other boy's arm, heart thudding in his chest.]
Can we talk?
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[ It's breathed out quietly and involuntarily, not at all for show. There simply is something about combining the feeling Keith's weight on his hips and watching Keith take off his clothes for him... Something that does get his blood flowing, for lack of better expression. Keith can probably feel his heartbeat thumping very clearly.
Then, louder, James answers: ] Perfect.
[ He pushes himself off the mattress to wrap his arms around Keith's naked torso as the other sits on his lap. The warm skin feels pleasant under his fingers.
James buries his face in Keith's shoulder for a moment, simply smiling to himself at the proximity, before leaving a trail of kisses down his neck and to his collarbone, which gets nibbled on gently for a moment. Easy to hide, but not... entirely effortless to. That's a good compromise. ]
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...ah...
[The soft sigh escapes his mouth before Keith can think better of it. Heart beating faster, it's hard not to be pulled into just how good that feels. Because it's James and even though there are new, different doubts between them, he knows he's wanted, and that....
That has Keith breath hitch at the feel of teeth. His hands shift down to tug upwards at James' shirt.]
This is coming off now.
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[ James murmurs lazily against Keith's collarbone, not quite willing to stop his assault just yet. The sigh Keith had given was simply too delicious... but then again, the idea of moving forward is not all that bad either. James sucks down on the reddened skin one more time and then separates himself to allow his shirt to be pulled up over his head and then idly discarded on the floor next to the bed.
And that leaves them half-naked in front of each other for the first time in half a decade. James doesn't think his body actually leaves anything to be desired, so he can't say he's insecure, but the nostalgic feeling is... somewhere between awkward and exciting. James has wanted to do this for so long and at the same time denied himself even the mere acknowledgement that he missed it.
Now that he actually can bring their bodies together, skin on skin, his heart is beating out of his chest just like it did the first time they clumsily took off each other's clothes. Maybe more so. Back then... he hadn't been thinking, there had been something feverish about it all. And while it would be a vast overestimation to say that James is in full control of his sanity and emotions right now, he's still far more capable of reflecting on what is happening while it is happening.
He lets his hands wander over Keith's torso, unashamed and appreciating, until his arms come to rest around Keith's waist. Their faces are close again now and James loves being able to look Keith in the eyes with barely any distance separating them. ]
What now...? Any other demanding requests, Keith?
[ He might be quite inclined to fulfill them. ]
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It's been four years and the memory of the exact details of the body of the boy he once loved kissing, biting -- touching in any way -- have faded a little, but he knows James now is different in all these subtle ways. The person he used to touch back then was someone who, like him, had only been training, ready only in theory in battles that took place on a computer screen. Those peaceful days of the past are long gone, both of them hardened by loss and warfare in ways that have shaped them not only mentally but physically too.
They're no longer cadets preparing for wars that may never happen. They're both soldiers and survivors. Fleetingly that horror Keith had felt pierce his heart when they crash landed on Earth for the first time in years and saw the toppled ruins of Platt City when he thought James might not have made it comes back and it reminds him that he's so fucking lucky to be here right now, still allowed to cling as hard as he wants, knowing for sure now that they want to be together.
Closing his eyes, Keith places one hand on James' shoulder, the other arm is curved around the small of his back to lock them into a tight embrace, like everything they've gone through, everything they've experienced apart from each other could be shared by pressing up close until all the space between them is gone.]
If you think taking off your shirt is demanding, not sure what you're gonna think of 'stay the night.'
[He doesn't wait for an answer to that though, and instead presses their lips together for another kiss, this one deep almost immediately, somewhere between eager and desperate to claim James' mouth again.]
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Stay the night...
Even during their worst days of desperately pushing themselves against each other in an attempt to make themselves feel wanted, they hadn't stayed with each other for more than one or two hours after they'd worn themselves out. James had only made a few walks of shame much later, when he was semi-publicly dating a female cadet for a brief while. He'd always hated it. The looks and whispers when you've come out of the wrong room in the morning had made him feel sullied, somehow. She'd worn it with pride, he'd simply endured. Part of why they didn't last.
Taking another such walk now, from the Black Paladin's room no less, ought to end up attracting an annoying amount of attention. And yet, James knows that he won't decline this request. This time, he won't make Keith feel like a dirty secret - though with the prestige Keith holds now, it'd be more likely for James to be the inappropriate partner anyway. Strange how the tables turned.
James lets himself fall backwards again, pulling Keith with him through their embrace, until the other boy is on top of him once more. Keith's weight on his chest feels just right, just like he was meant to be there. To intertwine them even further, James wraps one of his legs around Keith's. His hands meanwhile find the border of Keith's bodysuit and he lets his fingertips slip under it just a little, brushing a part of Keith's skin that isn't yet exposed. ]
...mhmmm...
[ It's hard to stay silent when they're basically melting into one another now and James decides that the mere attempt at holding back noises is pretty stupid. He wants Keith. That's not supposed to be a secret any longer. ]
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The soft noises are what start getting Keith to move a little more insistently, wanting to hear more. He hadn't thought about it in some time, hadn't really had the kind of laxity to entertain idle thoughts about lovers he thought had long forgotten him, but those soft sighs burn in his ears. He didn't think he missed it nearly as much as the shiver running all the way down his spine says he has.
It's all so familiar and yet as nerve wrecking as it had been the very first time he'd realized he wanted James like this. All to himself, only for himself.]
James...
[The name's almost pleading into the kiss, but pleading for what, he's not sure. Keith breaks apart, lips tingling, panting slightly as he looks down at the boy beneath him. God.]
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You feel unfairly good...
[ Keith really has a magnetic pull on him in every way. He can feel his mission pants straining some, easy proof of his eagerness. ]
... but I bet we could still improve on it.
[ Putting emphasis on his words, James moves one of his hands to the side of Keith's waist, still below the body suit, teasing to go further up front. ]
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James is bolder, more confident and knowing why that is inspires the worst kind of mixed feelings. On the one hand, he's intrigued. James openly wanting him is a better feeling than he ever allowed himself to think, but on the other hand the change is so distinct in his mind that the longer he dwells on it the stranger he feels. No doubt other people have brought this side out of James, and for so many stupid, irrational reasons he can't help wishing he knew then what he knows now and that other people had never been a part of the equation.
It's a thought that goes nowhere in the end and at present all he really knows is that James finds happiness in how awkward he feels about it. Stupid.]
Guess you're gonna have to work harder then.
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Well, I'm nothing if not a hard worker... and there's years to make up for.
[ There's no discouragement towards the journey of his hand, so he makes it to the front in one slow and smooth movement. For a moment, he keeps his fingers resting. His own heartbeat is echoing loudly in his ears, no matter how much confidence his words may suggest. James finds himself licking his lips nervously, subconsciously. Keith... It's been so long since he touched him (and really, touched anyone, thanks to the war) and there is a strange sense of performance anxiety. What for? He has to wonder. It's not like simply touching a dick is difficult.
Stalling for time to just a second longer, James leans up for press another kiss to Keith's collar area and then, finally, he moves his hand lower. The fabric of the bodysuit is fairly restrictive and he's starting to figure that soon they should get rid of clothing alltogether. ]
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[The snark comes easily. James is a hard worker alright, but it's still a little strange to hear that applied to lewdness as well now, even in jest. Different. Less uptight. But speaking of tight, the under armor is certainly that and Keith can't quite shake the weirdness that is getting his cock stroked while wearing his paladin gear. The idle thought is quickly discarded however, when he remembers something else though. ]
...Wait-- [Keith tenses noticeably as that hand moves further down between his legs, a deep flush starting to spread across his cheeks as soon as fingers that aren't his brush along the base.] ..ah...
[The little noise catches on a sharper intake of breath. Well so much for wait then, huh. Vaguely embarrassed, he busies himself with nipping at the shell of James' ear. He's just going to hope the guy isn't going to point out the underwear situation. Or lack thereof.]
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There isn't actually enough space to properly close his hand around Keith, so instead James settles for moving up and down the crotch area, massaging.
His own breath is coming out audibly and he sighs softly at the attention Keith is paying to his ear. Even for himself, James can't quite decide whether he wants to draw this out or impatiently get rid of any remaining clothing obstacles. ]
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Reaching down, he grabs James' wrist, speaking low and soft into his ear.]
Hold on. Let me take this off.
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... good call.
>[ His own voice is pretty quiet now as well. James removes his hand from Keith's spacesuit slowly. Part of him wonders if he should insist on doing the undressing for Keith, but the truth of the matter is that he has no confidence in actually being able to take that suit off at all. Maybe it's physically impossible for anyone but Keith to do. James isn't about to make a fool out of himself by trying.
After a second, he adds: ]
I'll follow your example.
[ Because really, why would he continue to deal with clothes when Keith isn't anymore? And having sex in combat suits is weird anyway. Kind of hot, but mostly weird and it's just going to be an awkward association during the next mission. ]
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But instead, as Keith shifts his hands, he slides his hand over the tenting of James' pants, fingers encircling around the stretched fabric.]
Hold that thought.
[With his other hand, he unbuttons James' pants and pulls down the zipper. Tugging slightly at the waistband, Keith dips his head low and flicks his tongue over newly exposed hip.]
Maybe I wanna undress you.
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[ That's all James can say when Keith acts with an amount of natural confidence and dominance that would have been unthinkable in their teen years. Some of the blood that hasn't gone down to his crotch yet rises up to color his face a deeper shade of red. The rest of it.... Well, suffice to say, the tenting isn't getting any less here.
This is simply so incredibly hot in ways that most of his part sexual encounters didn't manage to be. James knows that a large part of that is because it's Keith doing this to him and in the end... it always had to be Keith. Always, always, always. ]
Maybe you should.
[ He sounds even less confident now, voice leaning far more into the needy territory. ]
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Or I bet I could make you come like this.
[The suggestion is murmured against his skin, as he lazily moves his hand up and down as the arousal grows under his touch. The words come readily, easily to his lips when he sees the color on James' face. It's just such a good look on him that Keith can't help grinning a little.]
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[ Okay, this just... this isn't fair. James is supposed to be the experienced one coming back to impress his ex with his suave skill. He's not supposed to be reduced to a shivering wreck by Keith within just moments. And yet, he can't help but love every second of it. There is no doubt that Keith is perfectly capable of making good on his words. James is desperate to be touched by him in a way that's almost shameful and the long period of yearning for Keith that preceded this encounter only makes things worse.
James' eyes involuntarily fell shut at the kiss and now that they open again he's faced with this insufferable grin - it's way too sexy. How is Keith a natural talent at everything? ]
Tempting offer, but... I want to touch you. Keith... I want you. I want you closer than this.
[ There are a whole lot of 'want's in this statement, but James figures it's fine - it conveys a very real desire to feel Keith's whole naked body against him. No playing around like this, no embarrassing stains on mission pants... He wants more than that. ]
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Do you.
[There isn't a whole lot of doubt there, and one way or another, Keith releases James' cock in favor of positioning both of his hands at the other's hips to pull downwards and both pants and underwear. But some part of him still can't help searching for some proof that these aren't just... platitudes he shares with lovers in general.]
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He sits up a bit, so he can reach Keith's neck again to press a hot kiss at the base.]
I do. I missed this. [ Another kiss.] You. [ Kiss.] I dreamed of this... [ A long lick this time.] Close isn't close enough anymore.
[ He wouldn't confess about the dreams in any reasonable state of mind, but right now he's unbearably hard and the only thing on his mind is to share his experience with Keith.]
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[Unthinking Keith tips his head back a little as James leaves kisses on his neck, his breath hitching audibly at the tongue.]
...mmmh...
[Shifting a little, he brushes his fingers up along the inside of James' thigh.]
You..ah... dreamed about me?
[hat's not inherently surprising; Keith's had his share of dreams and/or nightmares about James, though they'd become less over time. At least up until the plan to return to Earth became official.]
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I did.
[ He kisses down Keith's chest as he speaks, whispering into his skin. ]
Way too often... It used to make me sad...
[ Horrible hollow feelings in waking up, when he was forced to confront the reality that Keith could still get in his head. That he still loved Keith in his dreams, all the same, even after years had passed. ]
I didn't think I'd ever get you back...
[ But he's back now and James straightens himself out to leave a kiss on Keith's lips for a change. ]
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It's nice to know that James thought about him though, and it wasn't all just him stuck with the sad, lonely dreams that went nowhere. That the "I miss you" sentiments had existed even before he came back as a person who was actually worth something, and that they had some similar feelings of longing even while apart.
The warm thoughts keep him pressed to James' lips for a long moment, then he breaks apart, breathing faster and a little heavier.]
Sorry, I... I really need to take this off now.
[There is, after all, a considerable amount of tenting going on and this underarmor wasn't made to accommodate paladins with arousals. Keith swings his legs over the side of the bed, tugging down at the fabric and tossing it to the side with an audible sigh of relief when he's no longer being constricted.
But then... it leaves him sitting without a stitch of clothing on and stupidly hard beside James for the first time in years, and that's..... ah. Fleeting embarrassment colors his cheeks red. Keith ducks his head as he turns to face the other again.]
I had dreams about you, too.
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... did you now...?
[ His voice is basically a purr. In a more light-hearted situation he'd ask just what exactly those dreams entailed, but even through the arousal clouding his mind James realizes that this question would likely just end up being a mood killer.
So instead of inquiring further, he shuffles closer so that this time he's the one straddling Keith. Gently, he places his hands on Keith's shoulders, pushing him backwards. ]
You're even hotter now than you were in my fantasies.
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[Keith stops dead mid sentence when James climbs on top of him, eyes wide for a split second before smiling up at the other boy as he lets himself get pushed back against the bed. His heart starts pounding even harder as James' body presses him further into the mattress. No clothes, nothing between them. Keith has to fight back the urge to move his hips at the feeling of their bare arousals pressed between them.]
Mmn..what kind of fantasies?
[Wrapping one arm around James' back, his fingers trace out small circles on his smooth skin.]
You're pretty incredible, you know... [Leaning up, Keith kisses his neck.] ...Never wanted to actually tell you that cuz I knew you'd be smug about it for the rest of the day. [A nip, then a lick.] But... god you look good.
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[ It's not the most coherent answer, but it's very accurate to how James feels as he is assaulted with lips and compliments while Keith's whole body is below him, naked erection easy to feel on his skin.
He grins lopsidedly at Keith, before pressing their foreheads together. ]
That... fulfills one fantasy.
[ Though it'd been a fantasy he'd been having while they were still together. Verbal acknowledgement of their attraction for one another... He had simple dreams back then.
And then he decides that he doesn't care for restraint anymore and does what Keith's been holding back on: he grinds their hips together, slowly but insistently and not stopping at just once. ]
Ah....
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