jeith | is that alright

[It'd been on the back of his mind ever since they agreed that their next step was to return to Earth in order to replace the Castle of Lions, like a ghost silently following him around whenever there isn't something immediately life threatening to hold his attention. For so long he's insisted that there was nothing to go back home to, That by the end of it all he made everyone turn their backs on him and that this was all for the best. It's the only narrative that makes him stop looking at the past and look towards the present and future, and it had served him so well for as long as it lasted.

The return to Earth refuses to be simple though, and barely even before the dust of their destroyed planet had even settled, there'd only been one person in his mind: Griffin. Was he okay? Did he survive this? And then only few minutes later that Garrison car had shown up to pick them up from the ruins of Platt City and that achingly familiar voice had momentarily rendered Keith speechless.

That was just several hours ago, but somehow it feels like a lifetime has passed already between the endless reunions, briefings, status reports and navigating around an entire military's chain of command where it'd only been the paladins before. He doesn't know what to expect from Griffin anymore, but he knows without a doubt that he deserves every single cold look, and grimaces his way through the guy's criticism of his team, somehow knowing it's not even about Hunk, it's him. Griffin wants to yell at him and that's.......

Maybe that's egotistical. Maybe the guy's doing far less thinking about Keith than Keith is doing about him.... and maybe he hopes that's true for Griffin's sake. It's that thought that keeps him from seeking Griffin out on his own. As much as he wants to apologize, he knows not everyone gets to and that not everyone wants one.

Then again that might also just be cowardice in the guise of empathy; Keith doesn't know. But he does know that when Griffin and Veronica turn up unexpectedly at the hangar to help him and Hunk, he's inexplicably, selfishly relieved. They return to the Garrison base without Hunk's parents, but there's a greater sense of resolve in the air. Hunk's going to save his family, they're going to liberate Earth and--]

...James.

[He reaches out grabbing the other boy's arm, heart thudding in his chest.]

Can we talk?

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[..Ah, that stings. If there's anyone in this universe who is entitled to being skeptical about him, it's James -- Keith knows that, and despite it all, he still finds himself wanting to protest that he's different now. That he's changed, that he's grown up, and yet the words feel childish for reasons he can't place. He sighs, and this time he's too tired to mask that as anything else.]

A lot of things in life don't go as they should. But we adjust and keep trying to achieve what we set out to achieve. So long as we both want the same thing, I think we can pull through.

[A beat.]

But I guess until you see it the same way, you're just gonna have to trust me.

[ Trust Keith, huh...? That sounds absurd, but it doesn't feel as impossible anymore as it did by the start of the night. Keith has shown him so much vulnerable honesty that James wants to think that this time, finally, he'll be able to get a real grasp of the other's heart. ]

Mhm...

[ He nuzzles against Keith's forehead a little. ]

Though even if we mess up, I'll still want to try again. I'm hopeless like that.

[ Else he wouldn't be here right now, trying to make his body melt into Keith's warmth. ]

[He closes his eyes as James presses their foreheads together. Hand sweeping down to trace at the other's jaw, he murmurs softly.]

Hopeless. huh...

[Holding onto people as tightly as possible, never giving up on them -- that really so hopeless? Was it hopeless to be unknowingly fighting Shiro's clone and thinking only of how to save him while the guy was trying to kill him? In the end, it's not something Keith knows how to change about himself and doesn't want to. It's holding on that saved Shiro, it's believing in the bonds he has with his friends, despite all the hurtful things they'd said to each other, that got them all where they are.]

Whatever you wanna call it, it got us this far.

[For better or for worse, really.]

Love you.

[ It's the second time James hears this today, but the first was buried under a multitude of physical sensations that were clouding his mind. This time he hears it clearly and without any distractions. Love you.

How much he had wanted to hear this when he was 17. How much had he dreamed of these simple words... and how much had he thought they could never possibly be true. He and Keith had been a doomed combination, a slow-motion trainwreck. Never had James thought he could have this.

And now he does.

Now he has it and it's more than he knows how to handle. His arms tighten around Keith. ]

Love you, too. Always have.

[It's not something Keith was expecting James to reciprocate. He assumed that from James' perspective that had been something that just slipped out in the heat of the moment from clouded judgment or words that came out wrong, and he could accept that. It still hadn't made him regret saying he loved James back when he first said it. And he wasn't going to regret saying it a second time when they were both clearer minded.

As tired as he is, hearing a love you, too in a different context where its meaning and significance are harder to attribute to other things makes his heart skip a beat before he, too, wraps his arms a little tighter around James.]

I get that now. Won't doubt it again.

Mm... better don't.

[ They don't need another misunderstanding of the same brand. And though it is a little foolish to say he loves Keith after this much time, there is enough of the Keith he knows in him now that James can already feel himself falling again, just as helplessly as he had the first time.

Or maybe he's just very tired.

Can't be sure. ]

Let's catch a few moments of sleep, 'kay?

Yell at me if I do.

[The days aren't going to get any shorter and getting any amount of sleep is ideal, really. Regardless it's also a
plan of action that's a little out of his hands. It's even easier now than it was before to be lulled into somnolence by being close to James' warmth and the way their breathing is starting to synchronize.

Normally Cosmo would be there curled up at the end of his bed, keeping his toes warm, and for a moment the wolf's absence raises a sleepy question as to where he is. Still with Shiro probably, since Keith left the wolf with him prior to the night mission, but... huh. Hopefully space doggo's not gonna be upset about being left with Shiro all night.

Tiredly, he mumbles into James' skin.]

..g'nite.

Night...

[ It takes James all of half a minute to fall asleep after they stop talking. Keith is comfortable and soft in a way he isn't used to anymore, his body is exhausted, and his emotions direly need a break as well. Every part of him is fully ready for deep sleep. His last thoughts before drifting off are dedicated to useless contemplation of how much he is going to hate it when the alarm rings in a few hours. Maybe then he'll regret more than one thing about this night.

But right now, there are no regrets. He can judge himself for it all he wants, but in the end there is no denying that James is happy. ]

is that alright

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