jeith | is that alright

is that alright

[It'd been on the back of his mind ever since they agreed that their next step was to return to Earth in order to replace the Castle of Lions, like a ghost silently following him around whenever there isn't something immediately life threatening to hold his attention. For so long he's insisted that there was nothing to go back home to, That by the end of it all he made everyone turn their backs on him and that this was all for the best. It's the only narrative that makes him stop looking at the past and look towards the present and future, and it had served him so well for as long as it lasted.

The return to Earth refuses to be simple though, and barely even before the dust of their destroyed planet had even settled, there'd only been one person in his mind: Griffin. Was he okay? Did he survive this? And then only few minutes later that Garrison car had shown up to pick them up from the ruins of Platt City and that achingly familiar voice had momentarily rendered Keith speechless.

That was just several hours ago, but somehow it feels like a lifetime has passed already between the endless reunions, briefings, status reports and navigating around an entire military's chain of command where it'd only been the paladins before. He doesn't know what to expect from Griffin anymore, but he knows without a doubt that he deserves every single cold look, and grimaces his way through the guy's criticism of his team, somehow knowing it's not even about Hunk, it's him. Griffin wants to yell at him and that's.......

Maybe that's egotistical. Maybe the guy's doing far less thinking about Keith than Keith is doing about him.... and maybe he hopes that's true for Griffin's sake. It's that thought that keeps him from seeking Griffin out on his own. As much as he wants to apologize, he knows not everyone gets to and that not everyone wants one.

Then again that might also just be cowardice in the guise of empathy; Keith doesn't know. But he does know that when Griffin and Veronica turn up unexpectedly at the hangar to help him and Hunk, he's inexplicably, selfishly relieved. They return to the Garrison base without Hunk's parents, but there's a greater sense of resolve in the air. Hunk's going to save his family, they're going to liberate Earth and--]

...James.

[He reaches out grabbing the other boy's arm, heart thudding in his chest.]

Can we talk?

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[ The compliment is sweet, even despite its subject matter, and James returns the smile with genuine joy as he leans in to meet Keith halfway for that kiss. Romantic sex like this had been a rarity for them in the day- no, scratch that, it might never have happened, not to this extent. Strange how the night started with him yelling at Keith over all his wrongdoings and now James just feels stupidly in love. ]

Please...

[ There's some pleading in his voice now as well - he's held out for far too long and he wants Keith and he wants him badly and is there really any shame in letting him know that when the atmosphere between them is so intimate and open?

Contrary to his begging though, he pulls Keith back for another, deeper, kiss. It's not been more than 10 minutes long since they last made out, but somehow it feels like an eternity and James just wants that sense of absolute closeness back, where their bodies are pressed together tightly, melting into one unit. ]

[There's no hesitation in wrapping one arm around the other boy's waist and holding him close while they kiss. It's a little strange tasting traces of himself in James' mouth, though he can't deny that some part of him is pleased with that. Drawing back enough to run his tongue over James' lower lip, Keith grins and gently pulls him back down on the bed, on top of him, limbs tangled.]

Have any requests?

[A curious question, followed by a quick kiss. The offer should really make him more nervous because it's been so long, and god knows how much his inexperience is going to show, but for now it's enough to know that it's him that James wants, despite all shortcomings. Keith rolls them over so that it's James beneath him, then steals another quick kiss.]

Edited 2019-02-10 07:34 (UTC)

[ James considers this for a moment - he could be requesting that Keith repay the favor, but somehow... it's not the right idea for their first night back together. Receiving oral is nothing that makes him think of Keith primarily - other people have done it to him far more often, drowning out memories of the few times he'd experienced it with Keith. It doesn't feel like Keith the way this does, laying buried under his weight, feeling the way their breathing tries to synchronize. ]

Yeah, one.

[ James reaches up to brush through Keith's hair once again. ]

Don't let go.

[ And with that, he leans up to capture Keith's lips in another kiss. ]

[Don't let go, huh. Out of all the possible requests James could have made, that's the one James chooses to go with? Keith isn't complaining -- far from it actually, but the gentle sentimentality is such a striking contrast to how things between them had started that his heart aches a little as he kisses back.

Don't let go. Make up for letting go all those years ago amidst a whirlwind of emotions he had no idea how to handle. Make up for something that maybe there is no making up for, but try to anyway by showing James just how much he'd been missed. How much he's wanted. It's everything he wanted from James and never knew he had when they were younger, and now that he knows better, he doesn't want James to feel the way he used to.

Keith breaks the kiss briefly, drawing back only enough to whisper audibly:]

I'm not going anywhere.

[Parting his lips, Keith deepens the kiss, moving a hand down James' side, fingers curving over hip bone to close around the erection pressed between them. Experimentally he starts giving a few slow strokes.]

[ The attention to his privates was long overdue and it's plain to feel by the way James tightly grips Keith as soon as the other starts moving his hand and plain to hear by the way he moans helplessly into the kiss.

James has been wound up far too much for far too long and now that Keith is actually giving him any kind of stimulation, it's near overwhelming. The best thing to channel his passion into is the kiss and so he does, sucking and playbiting in equal measures.

Keith. Everything feels like Keith in a way that's melancholic but for the first time in years doesn't leave him longing. All this time, James' life had been plagued only by disappearances, by creeping loss. Keith had only been the start, his planet had followed and then bit by bit more and more of the people he survived alongside. 3 years, James hasn't known anything but the feeling of a world fading slowly around him. Now, for the first time since Veronica miraculously showed in the hangar, he's regained something. Keith has returned to him, Keith is his again and maybe always has been. There's a joy in that that James is not sure how to speak.

Yet, he does, though it is only mumbled against Keith's lips quietly, hard to understand. ]

Ah....I love-- you...

[James feels and sounds amazing. Even as the exhaustion he's been ignoring all day for the sake of being functional in meetings and secret night missions is starting to finally catch up with him in his post-climax haze, Keith can't help feeling an edge of desperation in his own actions again. He wants James to make more of those gorgeous sounds and --

I love you.

The words make Keith pause, half wondering if he'd just misunderstood. Perhaps it'd been meant more like a I love what you're doing -- at least that one would be easier to reconcile with everything else that'd happened today. Either way, Keith knows better than to be happy about this -- really, he does. But fuck if any part of him really cares about that right now. Heart skipping beats again, Keith resumes stroking, a little faster this time, teasing around the tip before sweeping down towards the base and back up in a more insistent motion. Murmured back between breaths:]

Love you too.

[It's stupid how easily the words come to him now when it was paralyzing to even think about saying them years ago. It's arguably even stupider to say it now, but Keith refuses to regret saying it. He should've said this back then, and for all he knows Sendak could fry the planet at sunrise. Keith catches James' lower lip between his teeth, then pulls back enough to speak more clearly.]

So much.

[Then right back to kisses, right back to focusing on moving his hand on James' arousal. Right now at least, it doesn't matter why James said I love you; he feels better for having said it outloud himself.]

Edited 2019-02-11 22:49 (UTC)

[ James never thought he'd ever hear those words in Keith's voice and maybe it's for the best that he isn't in any state of mind to think too deeply about it right now. What he feels is all those nice overwhelming sensations that come with being touched and an admission of love just feeds into the building pleasure here.

He's reduced to moans and shivered, uselessly moving his hips against Keith's hands. There's no shame in that now. Coherence can be an issue for later, right now James wants relief and his relief lies deep within all that Keith has to give him.

His climax hits him not too long after. James grips Keith's shoulders tightly, holding him close and lets his head fall back fully onto the mattress to release a flurry of sighs and groans. His whole body feels heavy and light at once and for a moment he keeps his eyes closed, reveling in the feeling as his breathing slows down a little.

Eventually, he opens his eyes to smile up at Keith in blissful silence ]

[....God, James sounds nice like that. They usually had to be quick and quiet in the past, and getting to hear how James feels just adds so much more intimacy to the experience than just heavy breathing and then a sticky mess. His hand's covered in warm fluid now, and when he lets go of James it only spreads more.

He needs to get up and clean them off with a tissue or something, but Keith lingers instead, looking down at James who looks even more attractive for how dishevelled he is. Far from the perfectly groomed, perfectly tidy boy everyone else knows him as. Keith smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips.]

You always look so good afterwards.

[ James smiles wider at that, amused and delighted by the display of affection. ]

... mhmm, you've really turned into a flatterer.

[ And that should feel a little strange, but right now -in the post-coital stage- everything feels perfect and like it was meant to be. James hasn't been this fully and completely happy in a long time. ]

[Keith straightens u[. laughing a little quietly at that.]

Nah. Couldn't flatter anyone to save my life. Just being honest. Since you asked for it.

[Reaching across the bed to grab a handful of tissues from the side table, he starts wiping his hands, then turns back to start cleaning off James' stomach..]

I can stop any time.

[ James props himself up on his elbows, but he's perfectly content just letting Keith do the clean-up work. ]

You better don't, I'm perfectly ready to get used to this.

[ As weird as the discrepancy between current Keith and the Keith of his memories is, James is definitely down for Keith telling him how attractive he is. It matters more when Keith says it than anyone else because Keith is the one he's wanted to hear this from for so long. ]

All of this, really.

[Seeing as James is making absolutely no moves to clean himself up at all, Keith simply reaches between his legs with a tissue and gives him an unnecessary stroke to wipe him off.]

Maybe if you're good.

[The teasing smile stays in place for a second or two, then mellows again. Reaching for another tissue, he turns his attention towards cleaning himself off.]

Edited 2019-02-12 02:07 (UTC)

--whoa.

[ He should have really seen this tug coming, but somehow he didn't. The words following this make him laugh, however. ]

If? I recall the word 'incredible' tossed around earlier.

[Satisfied that they're both clean now, Keith eyes the trash can that is... well, too far away by default simply by not being within arm's reach. He scrunches up the tissues into wads, clearly not wanting to actually get out of bed to dispose of this properly. Before he can really decide what to do though, James gets refocused and for a second Keith just feels irrationally caught. He pauses, avoiding eye contact as his face threatens to turn red.]

Yeah, well....you'd be extra incredible if you threw these out.

[ Ugh, that trash bin is truly way too far from the bed. James stares over at it skeptically, but with a groan he actually moves to get up. ]

... you are so lucky I'm a dutiful and orderly person.

[ Because clearly his soldier discipline is what compels him to toss those tissues out, and not just the fear of embarrassing himself by missing the bin if he tries to toss. ]

[.. someone help him, that actually makes Keith laugh softly. He wasn't expecting James to get up and do that for him and there's just a flicker of genuine endearment.]

Can't argue with that.

[Heartfelt as he slides under the blankets. Sleeping nude isn't really something he does, but he just can't be bothered to get up and put some pajamas on.]

I am pretty damn lucky.

[For a whole host of reasons really. It's not something he would have really thought about his own life back in the day, but perspective's been a doozy. Just this one day's been a doozy.]

Bed's cold without you.

Edited 2019-02-12 03:18 (UTC)

Probably not as cold as standing in your room completely naked.

[ ... so really, James is wasting no time crawling under the blanket next to Keith. Lazily, he places an arm over Keith's waist. ]

... people are going to talk about us in the morning, you know?

[ This doesn't seem to actually distress James any, considering how comfortable he's getting here. ]

[That gets a pause. Keith turns just his face to look at James.]

That matter to you?

[It's a quiet question; Keith's never been bothered with the opiions of other people when it comes to his own conduct, but he knows that isn't so for James.]

Not anymore.

[ Or at least not a lot, which is almost the same thing. He's not looking forward to putting up with questioning glances all day, but there is no more fear about any lasting long term effects. ]

My dad still doesn't know that I like guys, but at this point we all have better problems to worry about.

[Keith stares for a long moment, his mouth slightly open with a comment that he hangs onto at the last possible second then closes it again. James had always been so hush-hush about their relationship because he didn't want word to get back to his dad which... alright sure, it didn't bother him much until he started wondering if James would still feel this way if he came from some family with a pedigree. Or if he didn't have the reputation he had for being the prodigy/delinquent cadet of their class.]

....your dad shouldn't care about things like that to begin with.

[Fleetingly he half wonders if his own dad would've cared at all. But then again, ever since being in the Quantum Abyss, Keith's just felt all the more alienated by his dad and all the secrets he'd kept that he simply has no idea what the man would've thought about the state of his personal life. It's a lonely thought and Keith abandons it in favor of rolling towards James and draping an arm over his chest.]

[ James huffs humorlessly at that. Distracting himself from the miserably topic, he brushes his hand over Keith's back gently. The skin is smooth and warm. He hasn't felt this comfortable for a long time. ]

Tell that to him. Not... actually, just metaphorically.

[ He'd rather not imagine Keith getting into an argument with his father. ]

It doesn't matter anymore anyway. He's a different person now, compared to who he was before the war.

Introduce me to him and I will.

[That's ,uttered somewhat quietly. It's not meant combatively, though Keith shakes his head.]

I mean I won't because that's yours to tell him.

[James is an adult who can speak his own mind to his dad. Or not speak his mind. It's really only lately that the second option about just keeping your anger to yourself actually became something he was willing to adopt for himself, though he can't deny that this exercise in self restraint is usually more frustrating than anything else.

But right now? Keith can't lie. Really doesn't want to be thinking about James' dad while they're in bed together.]

Wars do that to people, I guess. Makes you really think all about your priorities a second time.

Yeah...

[ It's disturbing really, watching his father these days. James is glad they don't interact a lot as his work at the Garrison keeps him busy. Looking at the man who raised him so strictly now that he seems so frail and broken is a harrowing reminder of what's been lost in the war. A family home that's now just flat earth, a large group of relatives that they've given up hope on and will likely never see again... James sees it reflected in his father's eyes and it scares him. He never wants his own eyes to look like that, he doesn't want to think that after all that he went through anything can break him anymore. Yet, he keeps thinking back to his childhood and the days when his father was the iron framework to his entire world.

None of that is things he wants to talk about right now, so he doesn't. ]

Point is, let people talk. We've weathered worse than rumors.

[Fingers tracing down James' arm, Keith finds his hand and then interlaces their fingers. It doesn't take a genius to wor out that a lot's going unsaid right now, and Keith can't help feeling a little strange that it's James that's gone quiet and sad over the years; it's like they've become mirrors of each other in some way.]

... yeah. I'll take the rumors over my morning any day.

[ James grasps Keith's hand tightly in return. He's starting to come down from the high of sex and shared affections, starting to realize just how conflicted he'll feel about all of this after a few hours of sleep... but he's also not ready to let go of this tender atmosphere yet. What's another half an hour of playing pretend that they're alright, after they've already gone so far? ]

Must have been pretty terrifying, getting back here without prior notice of what happened...

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